A Legend In Their Own Mind

Have you ever had one of those employees who just seem to know everything?

The Maintenance Supervisor who knows more about leasing than you and your entire leasing team combined?  The Leasing Consultant who is brand new to the industry, has gained three months of experience and is now applying for a Community Manager position?

I cannot tell you how frustrated I get with these individuals.

I did learn very early on, that there is a difference between confident arrogance and delusional arrogance.  Over the years I have realized that if someone is confidently arrogant, typically they have earned the right to be through repetitive success.  It does not necessarily make it easier to accept their inflated ego, but you can't help respect them for their consistent accomplishments.  On the flip-side, the person displaying delusional arrogance typically has little to show regarding accomplishments. Interestingly enough, for some reason, they have come to believe that people not only want to hear them but actually put value in what they have to say!  Yet, you and I know, we really just want them to "SHUT THE HELL UP"!

I once had a Leasing Consultant that thought she was a ROCK-STAR!  She had her own blog, she told professionals how to market, how to collect rent, how to lease, etc.  She was and probably still is today, "A Legend In Her Own Mind".  I remember her bragging to me about how she was best friends with all of these keynote speakers in the Multi-Family Housing Industry, and how they all came to her for advice and recommendations.  Knowing most of them, I was shocked, so couldn't help but contact them and ask them about their relationship with her. Most said they didn't know her personally but she might have been a Facebook friend, others said, "UGH, yes I know of her, I made the unfortunate mistake of letting her Facebook friend me and now she has an opinion about everything".  With that in mind I started monitoring, and of course, "Little Ms. Know-It-All" was giving her ill advice during work hours, along with updating her blog.  I had to address her unacceptable use of time during work hours.  Later she informed me that she had received a request to have an article from her blog printed and it would recognize her name and place of employment, did she have permission to use the company's name.  I requested to see the blog.  OMG, it was full of spelling errors, grammar errors and punctuation errors.  I did not know who to be more frustrated with, her for being so egotistically blind to her blatant elementary school errors, or the apartment association wanting to print the crap.

Another time I experienced a maintenance person who attended an apartment association event.  At the event he apparently befriended one of the event leaders.  Later the maintenance person unveiled to his boss, that he had been offered a job from this individual he met, he added that the offer was for higher pay and a much better position.  Interestingly enough, the Regional Manager knew, the guy who supposedly offered him the position worked with me.  She contacted me immediately to see if our company had truly offered him a position.  Upon quizzing my colleague , he replied, "NO WAY, he was the most obnoxious and arrogant dude I have ever met."!  Ah, another "Legend In Their Own Mind".  My colleague went on to inform me that this guy had told him that the company he worked for was giving him a huge promotion and raise for having saved them thousands of dollars.  Oh the tangled web they weave when they attempt to deceive.

So, what is the right way to deal with this type of employee personality?  Can you mentor these individuals out of their state of self acknowledged awesomeness?  Are they salvageable?

My gut reaction based upon numerous experiences is NO!  And I can't help but ask, "Why would you want to put yourself through the hell of trying"?  Unfortunately, as a dedicated manager, we can't help but try, even if the odds are against us.  Therefore, the question becomes, "What is the best tactic for mentoring this type of employee"?

I believe the best mentoring tactic is the truth.  Many of these individuals are so self-absorbed they truly do not know they are doing it, and they definitely do not recognize the perception people have of them.  When you say out loud to them, "I know you think you are an employee Rock-Star, but in fact I have been unable to find one of your cheering fans, so I need for you to come down off of your stage and join the crowd as an equal team member", it gets their attention.

I still feel due to experience that few of them will change, mainly due to the fact that this type of behavior tends to be more of a personality trait or low self esteem compensation tactic.  The good news is, you provided them with the truth.  Then, have regular team meetings and after each meeting let them know how they interacted with the group.  Did they talk too much, did they listen well, did they interrupt, did they accept others opinions as options, etc.  By doing this, you know you have done your best to modify their behavior.  If they can't change, they will rapidly self eliminate, because they want/have to be an "Employee Legend" even if it is in their own mind.

Remember, "The Truth Will Set You Free", meaning, either they will change or go play on another stage.  Whichever the outcome, your team will applaud your ROCK-STAR management skills, and you will become a legend in their minds!!!