Handling Team Conflict

As managers, we have all dealt with isolated cases of bickering, arguing, back-stabbing, etc.  To most of us, it seems quite immature and in fact it takes every ounce of discipline not to yell, "STOP FIGHTING AND GROW UP"!  However, sometimes these behaviors move beyond isolated cases and actually become habitual, part of the fabric of your employees daily communication standards ... this can be lethal to the team and the expectation for teamwork, therefore causing dissension among the staff.



99% of the time these situations sprout with an argument or personality conflict between two employees.  One of the employees consistently takes on the role of the accuser, typically having the alpha personality of the two.  The second employee is consistently forced to take on the role of the defender.  If not caught and extinguished early on, both employees launch a recruiting process of the other team members to join their side, and "Team Dissension" is born.

Soon, arguing, rolling of the eyes, sighs of frustration, flipping of the hair, etc. become common place.  As time passes, everyone dreads coming to work, and you as a manager are at your wits ends and actually just want to SLAP THEM BOTH!

I highly recommend you not slap them (but feel free to call me for bail money if you do), instead consider the steps I suggest below.

Step 1 - Level the Playing Field
Typically the Alpha/Accuser for some reason feels superior, empowered or entitled to attack.  It may be because they have a higher title/position within the team.  It may be because they have seniority.  It may be because they have higher sales/closing ratios.  Or it may be they are the Spawn of Satan.  Whatever the case is, as a manager, it is our responsibility to reduce that entitlement.  I believe in the direct approach, "Nathan, I am extremely disappointed in your lack of professionalism.  No matter who is right or wrong, the way you communicated to Silvia in front of the team was unacceptable.  Don't do it again!  I expect more from you."  The tricks to these statements are, to be short and firm.  The psychological reasoning behind the statements are; 1) guilt (disappointed in you), 2) neutralism (no matter who's right or wrong), 3) bad behavior (addressing of Silvia), 4) requirement (not again) and 5) back to guilt (expect more from you).  All of the mothers in my reading audience are laughing out loud now, all knowing that GUILT is every mom's best trick to well behaved children.

Step 2 - Huddle the Divided Team
Since the team was most likely forced into taking sides, it is time to fuse them back into one supportive unit that will be held accountable for their actions by you.  Start the team meeting by addressing the fact that you feel tension among the team members and you feel that it is impacting the overall success of the business.  It is important that you state your unwavering commitment to company success, and your belief that professionalism and positive teamwork will secure that goal.  Directly and simplistically state the behaviors that you will not tolerate (i.e. gossiping, arguing, taking sides, etc.).  Directly and simplistically state the behaviors you expect to see in the future (i.e. complementing of each other, assisting each other, positively communicating with each other, etc.).

Step 3 - Problem Solving Competition
Carefully divide the group into 2 teams.  Put the Alpha/Accuser on one team, the Defender on the other and mix the rest.  Come up with 2 typical challenges that your business faces on a regular basis, for instance, "Traffic Generation" and "Overcoming Price Objections".  Under each category come up with three bullet points that make the topic challenging.  For instance;  we need to generate more traffic, however we have little to no money to spend, it needs to be focused on 1 bdrm renters only and they need to move in within the next 3 weeks.  Give each team the first challenge, have them brainstorm and present the complete steps of their game plan to the group.  Repeat with the second challenge.  Give them 10 minutes for each challenge

Step 4 - The Surprise Challenge
Building off of the two prior problem solving challenges you are now going to present a third challenge to each of the teams in the exact same manner.  The topic of this challenge is "Employee Conflict".  You will use actual behaviors you have witnessed as your three bullet points.  For instance; arguing in front of customers, talking about them behind their back to other employees and displays of rude unprofessional behaviors such as tossing files at them.  Again, have them brainstorm how they would handle these issues and come up with a step by step game plan that they present to the group.

Sit back and enjoy the ride on step four, little by little you will see them realize they are the subject of the challenge.  Little by little you will see them realize how hard you are trying as a manager to get this derailed team back on the tracks.  But my favorite part is when they get to the final action plan step and they realize they have to suggest their own termination if the employee conflict doesn't stop.  SCORE!  Attitudes magically change and they realize they need to get their act together.  The recruited members also now feel empowered to resign from sides and empowered to say "I am not going to get involved in this"!

Step 5 - Team Building
Just like with prospective residents and residents, follow up is always crucial.  Be sure to dedicate time to continue staff meetings, introduce team building events and assign them quick projects to collectively work on.  Teams must be identified, built and maintained for consistent success.

GOOD LUCK!  I have used this method many times and it has always worked!  Remember, as a manager YOU'VE GOT THE POWER ... to let your team fail or let your team succeed!  So get in the game, face the challenge head on, and SCORE!!!